Nine motorists were given a stern slap on the wrist (or, more accurately, a fine) after the city council decided that car enthusiasts enjoying themselves on a Saturday night was simply too much fun for the local area to handle.
A shiny new Public Spaces Protection Order (PSPO) was rolled out on Saturday (July 19) at Pleasure Fair Meadow Car Park – ironically named, as no one is meant to have any “pleasure” there anymore – to prevent what officials have called “anti-social driving,” but what petrolheads might call “just a decent night out with mates and some proper revving.”
The PSPO was apparently needed because the sound of a few tuned engines, the occasional doughnut, and the heartfelt scream of a handbrake made life “a nightmare” for residents living in nearby flats. While we all like a quiet night’s sleep, the horror of hearing an exhaust pop once or twice seems to have tipped the balance for the local council, who have now decided that having a car hobby equals social collapse.
On Saturday night, police swooped in like undercover Stigs, handing out nine tickets to those who were clearly having too good a time. Alongside the fines, officers also “educated” drivers – presumably pointing out that the safest way to enjoy a car is quietly, alone, and preferably at walking pace.
“We will continue to monitor the situation,” said a spokesperson for Cambridgeshire Police, with all the enthusiasm of someone who’s never sat in a properly tuned hatchback on a summer evening.
The PSPO – now locked in for three whole years – covers Pleasure Fair Meadow Car Park and aims to stamp out anything resembling automotive joy. “Vehicle-related nuisance” is officially prohibited. This includes:
Anyone caught ignoring these rules can expect a fine of up to £1,000, which will no doubt be spent on something thrilling, like more CCTV cameras to watch an empty car park.
“We are fully committed to making sure nobody has any fun at all – sorry, I mean, keeping members of the public safe and building sustainable communities,” said Councillor Alison Jones, Cabinet Member for Housing and Communities.
She continued to praise the PSPO for “improving the quality of life” for residents, which is undoubtedly true if you consider the pinnacle of urban living to be sitting in complete silence staring at a lifeless car park.
Between April 2023 and April 2024, police recorded 30 “incidents” of car-related fun at the Pleasure Fair Meadow Car Park, and a further 47 were reported between May and November 2024. (To be clear, these “incidents” mostly involve people revving engines, not staging a full-scale Fast & Furious remake.)
The car park – equipped with CCTV – will now act as a museum of what once was: a place where local enthusiasts gathered to show off cars they spent all week working on. Meanwhile, the council hopes everyone will instead find joy in quietly scrolling through Facebook Marketplace for cheap hatchbacks they can never drive anywhere.